‘Being in my 20s feels disgusting!’ Bella Ramsey on fame, fear and ‘daddy’ Pedro Pascal

It’s hard not to feel instantly protective of Bella Ramsey. The actor has just turned 20 when we meet in London, where they (Ramsey uses they/them pronouns) moved into a flat only a month ago. How did the Emmy-nominated star celebrate their first birthday away from home? A two-hour drive back to Nottinghamshire to catch up with family.

Being in my 20s feels disgusting!' Bella Ramsey on fame, fear and 'daddy' Pedro  Pascal | Television | The Guardian

Now returned to their new city, Ramsey is dressed head to toe in Depop finds (bar the socks) and looks impeccably cool in a baggy rugby top and chunky loafers, sipping a lime soda in a bar. They shrug off fame because “it’s all quite silly”, and say they still “want to do all the normal things”, despite being recognised every time they leave the house. It’s puzzling to reconcile this unassuming, barely-graduated person with the massive TV characters we know them for playing: from the sword-wielding Lady Lyanna in Game of Thrones to the monster-fighting Ellie in The Last of Us.

“I have always have been quite shy,” they say. “But in creative spaces, whenever I’ve played a different character – and am around people who are older than me – that’s when I’m not shy.”

Bella Ramsey photographed for the Guardian. Hair by Earl Simms; Styling by Fabio Immediato; Makeup by Amanda Grossman; shirt, jacket, shorts, socks and shoes by Thom Browne.
Bella Ramsey photographed for the Guardian. Hair by Earl Simms; Styling by Fabio Immediato; Makeup by Amanda Grossman; shirt, jacket, shorts, socks and shoes by Thom Browne. Photograph: Suki Dhanda/The Guardian

Ramsey’s latest role is a frenetic performance as pregnant drug addict Kelsey in the second series of Jimmy McGovern’s brutal but brilliant prison drama Time. Its story of three female inmates (Jodie Whittaker and Tamara Lawrance also star) is unlike anything Ramsey has done before. The women are locked up for very different reasons, all challenging the audience’s assumptions and judgments as their stories unravel amid the violence and desperation of prison life. Kelsey is far from likable, debating whether to continue a pregnancy solely to get more leniency while continuing to take smuggled drugs. But Ramsey is perceptive in showing her vulnerabilities, too.

“This is the first time I’ve been sent a script and asked if I want to do it without having to audition,” they say. “I find it very strange that they would just trust me like that.” It’s surprising that one of the most hailed young British actors of the decade would be so terrified after the years of praise they’ve received. “I absolutely do not feel more confident,” they explain. “I’m at the point where I can accept that I’m a good actor … But each part is completely different. There have been characters where I feel like they are already inside of me, but Kelsey was more external, which scared me.”

Ramsey always knew they wanted to act. They joined their older sister’s amateur theatre group at three years old because they “thought she was really cool and wanted to be like her”. Their parents were always fully supportive. “My whole family is very musical and creative – my parents met through music … But we were so far removed from the film and TV industry. We didn’t know anyone in it.” At 10, Ramsey joined the Television Workshop and realised that acting can be a real career (Samantha Morton and Vicky McClure are fellow alumni). A year later, they were cast in their breakout role in Game of Thrones.

“I was mini!” they laugh. This certainly did not show on screen – the small but mighty Lyanna Mormont totally commanded a room full of lords by calling each of them out for being weak, then shouting: “The North remembers!” and pledging her allegiance to Jon Snow. Every man in that room followed suit. How could they not? Still, Ramsey insists: “I had no idea what I was doing!”

Although too young to join the famous WhatsApp group, it was during Game of Thrones that Ramsey realised they work better with older people. “I’m neurodivergent and that’s part of why I feel more understood by adults,” they say. “It didn’t faze me at all. Being around kids my own age would have been so much harder.”

Hair by Earl Simms; Styling by Fabio Immediato; T-shirt, cashmere sweater and trousers by Miu Miu.
Hair by Earl Simms; Styling by Fabio Immediato; T-shirt, cashmere sweater and trousers by Miu Miu. Photograph: Suki Dhanda/The Observer

Ramsey “never really made friends at home”, after leaving school at 12 and continuing their studies online. They say school wasn’t conducive to their happiness, especially because of their neurodivergence. But they decided to give it another go at 17. “Every time we drove past a school I would have a twang of: ‘Oh I miss it – and want to try it again.’ So I went to college for two months and realised why I left in the first place … I don’t miss it any more.” It is within the industry that they have made real mates their own age. “I actually have proper friends for the first time in my life now,” they say, revealing that their new flatmate is also an actor. “It’s lovely, [but] I do need my old men – my old guy friends.”

Ah yes, Pedro Pascal. He played Ramsey’s father figure, Joel, in HBO’s smash-hit adaptation of apocalyptic video game The Last of Us earlier this year. Joel – whose daughter dies in the first episode – is reluctantly tasked with escorting seemingly fearless teenager Ellie across an apocalyptic America, and the two build an unlikely but eventually unbreakable bond. This friendship also blossomed behind the scenes. During promotion for the show, fans quickly became obsessed with their sweet words about each other and red carpet moments – earning Pascal the nickname “the internet’s daddy”.

As Sag members are still on strike when we meet, Ramsey can’t answer any questions about the show or its upcoming second season. (Although they have decided not to post anything about the strike on social media, they say they “absolutely stand in solidarity – it’s urgent, it is dangerous that people can’t pay health insurance or pay their rent”.) They can, however, sing Pascal’s praises: “He’s great – having him throughout this last year makes going through that experience less lonely.”

But Ramsey is careful not to find too much comfort in the positive response to their friendship. “I detach myself from it now. There’s an element of it that isn’t quite real. The problem is that when your validation and self-worth is being interpreted through the attention on social media it can be addictive.” They even have an app that makes them breathe for 10 seconds before deciding if they really want to open Instagram. “It’s nice to have that little barrier now. I try not to take it seriously. It’s just a fun little app. Realising this is very freeing.”

Ramsey is good at this sort of boundary-setting, which they first learned while working on CBBC show The Worst Witch – having been cast after appearing in Game of Thrones. They developed an eating disorder during the first series, were “in the thick of it” by the second and decided to walk away despite recovering by the third. “That whole experience was full of many highs and lows. I was just ready to say goodbye, take a break and go on to other things.” While advocating for themselves is a continual process, it is getting easier. Today, they ask not to discuss gender identity, having been quizzed on little else after saying they were gender-fluid during press for The Last of Us.

Ramsey with Pedro Pascal in The Last of Us.
‘He’s great’ … Ramsey with Pedro Pascal in The Last of Us. Photograph: AP

Such assertiveness has been possible thanks to a great support network, says Ramsey. “My journey has been very cushioned. I have been fortunate to work with people who are fiercely protective of me. I hear horror stories of people in the industry. I’ve had some massive challenges and traumas, as everyone has, but for the most part I’ve felt very safe.”

They want to continue this cycle with the next generation of actors; the protected is becoming the protector. “There’s a certain power that comes with being number one or two on the call sheet,” they say. “Now that I’m getting older, I’m looking forward to being able to help other people I work with – be the adult who can advocate for the younger person.”

While Ramsey waits for filming in Hollywood to fire up again, they have plenty to keep them busy. They recently completed the Open University’s environmental science module (“When I have time, I will do more modules!”), before doing a climate talk at Leeds festival where they stayed to watch Billie Eilish), and supported the film and TV industry’s Green Rider contract. The climate crisis is clearly a focus. “Greta Thunberg is, like, my hero,” they gush. “So I just wanted to learn more about it.” They’re also having script meetings about a project they started at 14, focused on a character with an eating disorder. They want to direct it and champion a young star for the lead.

But right now, Ramsey is settling into their new London life. First up, the fair-weather football fan (“Me and my dad joke about supporting Leicester Rovers”) is keen to find a local team to join. Preferring to participate than watch is very on-brand, they say, also confessing to barely watching any TV. They also love writing music in their downtime, particularly rap. “I used to write raps about the darkest things,” they say, “like about child abuse and sexual assault – I didn’t know about any of that! I was 10! And grew up in a very loving family!”

And what of entering this humongous new decade? “Being in my 20s feels disgusting,” they guffaw. “I never wanted to grow up because I thought you lose privileges when you do. But now I realise you gain them – you can vote and drive and be independent. I’m excited about the future, actually. Time was the first show I’ve done on my own. My mum didn’t come on set with me. It was a big experience in many ways. I was ready to move on my own.

“But I read an article about how neuroscientists say you don’t become an adult before 30 – we’re just kids always, I think. It’s just our bodies that age.”