The Golden Bachelorette star Gerry Turner has gotten shade since his marriage with Theresa Nist ended, and in light of his cancer diagnosis, which he says played a role in his decision to break up with Theresa, I believe he didn't deserve any of it. In fact, I am certain that Gerry deserves kindness and respect. Yes, he didn't share what was going on with his health, but that is his business, and receiving a cancer diagnosis is extremely traumatic. Now, he is ready to take fans into his world, which has shifted on its axis.
For now we see through a glass , darkly ; but then face to face - Corinthians 13:12
Gerry needed time to come to terms with having an incurable form of cancer. No one should have to go through this. It is a terrifying thing... something heartbreaking that people must face. Cancer touches many lives, changing them forever. There is a lot of talk about "fighting" cancer, but brave people, who fought with everything they had, have died. Fighting isn't always enough, and those who lose the battle are just as heroic as the fallen. Gerry is courageously sharing his journey - this is admirable. He was misunderstood, and now, people can really understand him.
Cancer has touched my own life. Someone I love with all my heart received a diagnosis, and that person was as brave as anyone could be. They called the diagnosis a "bummer," trying to lighten the tone. It was about putting me at ease... trying to soothe me. I was an emotional wreck. The courage of cancer patients is something to marvel at - a testament to the beauty of the human spirit. When faced with the worst, those on cancer journeys show their true colors - their patience, their warrior spirits, their great big hearts.
Gerry Had A Good Reason For Breaking Up With Theresa
He Needed Time Before He Shared It
Gerry's been painted as the villain - the cold-hearted, clout-chasing cad, but maybe he wasn't. He probably chose to end his relationship because he knew he was very ill. He likely didn't want Theresa to have to go through that ordeal with him.
If all that is true, and no one can speak for Gerry (we can only speculate), he was very honorable. He was trying to spare Theresa pain, just like my relative with cancer put me first, worrying about my feelings while living out a waking nightmare. As per People, Gerry said that his "incurable cancer" had a:
Gerry didn't know Theresa that well. They were a new couple who rushed into marriage. Perhaps they really wanted a wedding - maybe they felt pressured to wed in order to please the public. They weren't strangers, but close enough. There was plenty about each other they didn't know. Maybe that's why Gerry decided to end the union after finding out he was ill. If they'd been together for years, going through life's ups and downs, things might have been different.
It feels like Gerry let Theresa go because he thought she'd be happier that way. It sounds like an act of love rather than something hurtful. For this reason, we all need to revisit our opinions of Gerry. We need to move forward with him, supporting him.
While it's true that we didn't have all the facts, we still rushed to judgment, and that is on us. Gerry has more on his plate than worrying about the thoughts of writers and social media users, but that doesn't mean that there is nothing to apologize for. In light of what he's going through, I am personally sorry that I doubted him.
Doubt Is Natural, But Sometimes Judgment's Too Harsh
Gerry Deserved More Grace
There were some reasons to doubt - things ended so quickly between him and Theresa. Without knowing that he was sick, it was easy to draw the conclusion that Gerry was on The Golden Bachelor for fame, rather than love. Gerry seemed to underscore this when he wore an "Indiana, it's not that bad" t-shirt, referencing his home state. At the time, he and Theresa appeared to split up because neither would move to the other's state.
Gerry seemed to be in good spirits - he was lighthearted. So, there was no way to know all the trouble he was dealing with behind the scenes.
So, "Gerry the cad" is now an outdated concept... a cartoonish stereotype. Firstly, every man who breaks up with a woman is not a cad. Secondly, Gerry seems to have a very good reason for making the decision he made. In fact, it shows wisdom in light of how new and fragile his bond with Theresa was.
This all shows me how little we really know each other sometimes, no matter how much we think we know. There are always parts of people that are kept secret, at least, for a while. The assumptions we make about others can be way off base.
I believe this is the case with Gerry.
He's been toughing it out for a while, smiling online, making the best of things. He was brave enough to show some vulnerability, but kept some things to himself, as many people might do. Clearly, he's not the Gerry that we all thought we knew - the insincere reality TV husband, the callous heartbreaker... in fact, it's Gerry's heart that is aching because what he is dealing with is scary and sad.
So, let's all celebrate this man for being so honest... for showing us who he really is,,, for putting up with us when we doubted him. Yes, people who sign on for reality shows know that they will be criticized - they expect it, and it always happens. Sometimes, that shade is deserved. In this case, no. We are at fault - and Gerry is more complex than we assumed. When he broke up with Theresa, perhaps he felt that he was setting her free. He would stand alone, fighting cancer.
The Golden Bachelor's Gerry Turner was a sunny and endearing presence onscreen. He was charming. The big-hearted Leo man became very famous because he was charismatic. People were rooting for him. They only turned on Gerry when his marriage ended, but they didn't have all the facts. Maybe he was always that fun, good-natured man, and never changed, or pretended to be something he wasn't. What changed was The Golden Bachelor alum's health status, and nothing more.
