Kings beat Caps 3-0 while you were sleeping

   

If you went to bed early, don’t worry. The Washington Capitals couldn’t be bothered to compete in their shutout defeat at the hands of the Los Angeles Kings late on Thursday night. You missed nothing, and I’m contractually obligated to recap the nothing for you.

Capitals vs. Kings Recap: Dull Night for All in 3-0 Caps Loss - Japers' Rink

So, Warren Foegele scored the lone goal of the first period, uncovered in the crease as everyone else scrambled below the goal line. Two Caps players I won’t name but they both have the initials JC and the supposed job of defense were conspicuously nearby.

The second period merely happened, and then it was over.

Early in the third, Anze Kopitar threaded a pass to Kevin Fiala, who beat Lindgren cleanly. Moments later, Quinton Byfield (Bond villain ass name) didn’t waste a Caps turnover, making it 3-0. That was our final score.

Caps lose.

  • I was so jealous of Chris for getting recap duty for the fun one in Anaheim. I got the even later game against the actually good team with the great defense. I could go through the whole list of games, but I’d wager this was the worst of the whole season. If you have a worse one in mind, by all means, lemme know.
  • Pierre-Luc Dubois played 82 games for the LA Kings, who couldn’t get a good performance out of him. Skill issue. Works fine on my end. PLD got booed pretty much whenever he touched the puck. The best Caps chances of the night belonged to him, but they just wouldn’t go.
  • We heard boos again when ex-Caps goalie Darcy Kuemper tripped Dubois in the second period. That was the most exciting part of the game at that point, though Chris might have enjoyed this next part more. I don’t know who this is. I am 41.
  • In the second period, Matt Roy was on a two-on-one rush with Alex Ovechkin. Roy chose to shoot instead of pass, which was probably the right choice in the moment, but imagine the thought process – do I want to be part of history or do I want to generate .08 expected goals? Went with the latter.
  • Alex Ovechkin didn’t have a shot on goal.
  • Even for a dull night, Charlie Lindgren‘s save on Adrian Kempe at the end of the second period was thrilling. Haven’t seen a stretch like that since I heard a guy rationalizing a cloture vote.
  • Tom Wilson got testy late in the third period, nearly erupting into a fight. I’m glad it didn’t as the man’s face is already in tatters. He is hideous now. Probably.
  • As a Darcy Kuemper defender, which is to say a person who recognized the value of Darcy Kuemper all along, it nonetheless brings me no pleasure to report that he quieted the Caps, dealing them their second shutout of the season. The first one came way back in October. A simpler time.

At no point was this a good game. I’m sorry.

I’m pretty psyched for Saturday. It’s a five o’clock game in San Jose. They are a terrible team with a couple fun, young players. Recipe for an entertaining evening. See you there.