The Bachelorette star Jenn Tran has opened up about her dating "addiction" and how her "tumultuous" childhood affected her relationships prior to going on The Bachelor.
Jenn admitted during a recent appearance on the "Call Her Daddy" podcast that what she had observed of her parents' unhealthy marriage growing up affected her approach to dating "so much."
Jenn told Alex Cooper that prior to joining Joey Graziadei's The Bachelor season, she had picked "so many bad guys" and struggled through "so many bad" relationships.
"I've had so many crazy relationships, and I think, even after college, I was still finding myself. I was growing more confident into who I am, but I was not growing confident in knowing what I wanted in a relationship," Jenn explained.
Jenn confessed that she was attracted to men who only had one foot in the door and didn't treat her the way that she deserves to be treated.
"I've gone through a lot of therapy... and what I think is that I'm so addicted to someone not giving me everything because I've been so used to working for things in my life -- working for love, affection and success," Jenn acknowledged.
"I like guys who don't give me everything all at once because I've been so used to that environment."
Jenn elaborated, "And I've also been really used to this 'fight or flight' feeling since growing up because there was a lot of aggression there and a lot of fighting, and then I'd have to go to school and try to forget about it."
Jenn recalled having to push things out of mind and forge ahead during difficult times.
"I think in a lot of my relationships, I really went towards people who gave me that fight or flight feeling again. They'd give [love] to me and then take it back. [There was that] toxicity," Jenn said.
Jenn admitted she's had "a lot" to work through "internally" because of what happened during her childhood.
"I felt like I was almost forced to be independent at a young age... It takes me a lot to ask someone for help because I grew up so independently," Jenn noted.
Jenn boasted about how she can put together furniture and regulate her own emotions, but because of that drive to get things done on her own, she doesn't allow her partner to step in and help when needed.
"You're not really letting anybody in on who you are and what you're going through," Jenn confessed.
Jenn went on to explain what exactly about her parents' marriage affected her so immensely.
"What I saw from my parents wasn't a true partnership... My parents started fighting when I was at a really young age. My mom, I think she grew up in a different culture in Vietnam where the woman cooks and cleans and does everything for their husband," Jenn said.
"I saw a lot of that growing up, and so it just wasn't healthy for them and they started fighting. But my mom would still do everything for my dad, and my dad wasn't really a part of my life all that much when I was growing up."
Jenn has a brother who is nearly a decade older than her, and so she believes he has a "different perspective" on their father since he spent more years with their dad.
"But when I came into the picture, my dad was really living in the basement for most of my life and was not really involved in my school sports or my schooling or my everyday activities," Jenn said.
"So I didn't have a relationship with him, really, and then at one point in college, our relationship was cut off for good. We got into a little tiff, and he decided he didn't want to be a part of my life anymore."
Jenn called the situation "sad," but she also noted that "everything happens for a reason" and she's "so much better" for having gone through all that.
"If somebody doesn't want to be a part of your life, why are you going to force them to?" Jenn questioned.
"So growing up, it was very tumultuous and it was very much, like, a... survive-or-not environment. There was just so much fighting and so much aggression. I felt like I was in the background a lot of times... but my mom did the best that she could. She worked and was a full-time parent."
Jenn applauded her mother for "doing so much for the family" and pointed out how she'd "never want to discredit" her mom.
Jenn said what she's learned over the years, as a result of her upbringing and mistakes, is that spouses should work together as a team.
"It's not one person doing everything, and it's not one person calling the shots. It's not one person succumbing to the other's power," Jenn shared.
"It's really a true partnership, and that's really what I want -- to have a partner in it all and to have someone be on the same page as me and want the same things as me."
The Bachelorette star concluded, "And that's the only way something is going to work, right? Love is in it, yes, but the partnership part of that has to be there too."
Jenn's The Bachelorette season currently airs on Monday nights at 8PM ET/PT on ABC, and she has 18 bachelors remaining heading into Episode 2, which was filmed in Australia.
Based on a preview of what's to come this season, an ex-boyfriend from Jenn's past attempts to join her cast of bachelors and fight to win her back.
"This morning, someone from my past flew all the way here. He wants to be with me, and he wants to join this journey," Jenn tells her group of bachelors.
The men seem angry in the footage and tell this mystery man that he "stands no chance" with Jenn and should "go back to the past."
Jenn goes on to share, "I've dated a lot of toxic men in my past, and so I am nervous that history will repeat itself. I just don't want to choose the wrong person again."
Jenn later tells her suitors, "I've made the wrong decisions in the past, and I know what a wrong decision feels like. And I'm not going to do that anymore!"
Interested in more The Bachelor news? Follow our Bachelor Nation News Page on Facebook or join our The Bachelor Facebook Group!
Elizabeth Kwiatkowski is Associate Editor of Reality TV World and has been covering the reality TV genre for more than a decade.
