“‘They’ Pronouns Are The Most Truthful For Me”: Bella Ramsey On Coming Out As Nonbinary – And The Queer Romance At The Heart Of ‘The Last Of Us’ Season 2

   

“I didn’t hate it as much as I thought I was going to,” says Bella Ramsey, their face luminous despite a late night at the Met Gala yesterday. At first, I assume this is a trademark bit of sarky wit from the rising star. (A red-carpet party with Pedro Pascal? What’s to dislike?) But, despite having won hordes of fans for supremely fearless TV performances, commanding warriors in Game of Thrones and fighting “infected” in The Last of Us, it turns out that the 19-year-old is surprisingly nervy at parties. “I thought it would be a sensory nightmare with loads of noise and loads of crowds,” says Ramsey. “But I was pleasantly surprised.”

They' Pronouns Are The Most Truthful For Me”: Bella Ramsey On Coming Out As  Nonbinary – And The Queer Romance At The Heart Of 'The Last Of Us' Season 2  | British Vogue

This morning the actor is sheltering from the post-Gala media storm in a Manhattan hotel, eagerly awaiting the arrival of a bowl of room service granola (perfect post-party fuel for a staunch vegan). Their life has been lived in hotels recently. No other young actor is as in demand as Ramsey right now. Their 2023 has been spent hopping from awards shows to Comic Con, the front row at Dior during Paris Fashion Week to Eurovision in Liverpool. “I never particularly set out to be an actor, it just sort of went this way, and I’m very happy about it,” they say modestly.

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The truth is, though, Ramsey’s someone who feels more at home with a sword in their hand than a complimentary glass of champagne. They made their screen debut aged just 11 as the warlike Lyanna Mormont in Game of Thrones. It could have been a shock after a quiet childhood in Nottinghamshire. Not for Ramsey. “I was instantly comfortable,” they say. “I loved being this really strong young person in a room full of grown adults, and speaking my mind.”

From there, Ramsey became the go-to choice for the kind of girl it is lethal to underestimate – like the titular character in Lena Dunham’s Catherine Called Birdy, a medieval 14-year-old who repels suitors by giving them salves containing human excrement, or Ellie, the heroine of The Last of Us. “Within about 20 minutes of anything coming out about the show, there’ll be these phenomenal pieces of fan art online,” says Ramsey, visibly overawed by this influx of love. The reason for their character’s popularity? “Ellie doesn’t take shit from anybody,” says Ramsey. “She knows who she is.”

On screen, Ramsey is filled with a compelling self-possession. But in real life, things haven’t been quite so easy. “Although I was confident on set, I was very shy everywhere else,” they say. That shyness made it hard for them to come out as nonbinary earlier this year, while doing publicity for The Last of Us. “I’ve fought that word for so long,” they say. “I didn’t want people to think I was just trying to be trendy. But it’s a very succinct way to describe to people who I am.”

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A few months into publicly claiming a nonbinary identity, they’re still finding their feet. “I had a lot of anxiety around pronouns. When The Last of Us first came out, I was like, ‘Everyone just call me “she” because I look like a “she” to you, so it’s fine.’ But now I’m able to vocalise it more, being called ‘they’ is the most truthful thing for me. That’s who I am the most.”

I wonder aloud if going through adolescence in the public eye has put Ramsey under pressure to define their gender and sexuality before they felt ready. They agree, fervently. “You never fully know who you are, it’s ever evolving. But I certainly think that people have gathered that I’m not 100 per cent straight. I’m a little bit wavy, you know? That’s what I like to say.”

If Ramsey has been wavy, then the crew on The Last of Us have been staunch and sturdy in their support. “The costume supervisor would put several different undergarments in my room: a regular bra, a binder, a sports bra,” they explain. “She’d say, ‘You just pick whatever is most comfortable for you today,’ and in the end it was just a binder. There was never anyone pressuring me.” Ramsey also name-checks their co-star Pascal as a source of support, especially since his own sister is trans: “I always felt like he had my back; we take care of each other.”

Their onscreen bond is the secret to the show’s success, bringing buddy-comedy energy to what’s otherwise a pretty bleak vision of a crumbling America. Pascal’s offscreen sense of fun also allowed Ramsey to be a kid on set, despite having spent so much of their youth working. “We spend so much time just hysterically laughing,” Ramsey reminisces. “One day, we were given a radio and we were like little kids with it, listening in on the crew’s conversations and saying stupid things, like ‘no’ when they tried to tell us where to go.”

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Ramsey’s playful sense of humour is immediately obvious when you hang out with them. Our chat is littered with endearing asides. (“I’m not a fan of cardio, I’m not gonna lie…” or “If I could have worn a baggy T-shirt and trainers to the Met Gala, I would have been very happy.”) That air of fun is something the actor’s keen to bring to their style too. They list joyfully kooky brand Lazy Oaf as a streetwear favourite. “In terms of gendering their clothes, they’re just so open to everybody, and their clothes are so funky.” And, when it comes to red carpets, their dedication to Euphoria eyeliner and whimsical takes on masculine tailoring has won so many fans that their style has its own Instagram stan accounts. (@bellaramseyfit and @styleofbellaramsey might be interested to know that the actor sells their old clothes on Depop.)

After the pressure cooker camaraderie of filming and media tours, returning to civilian life with their parents in Nottinghamshire has been a challenge for Ramsey: “I’m not very good at relaxing,” they say, “so I’ll print off a stupid worksheet and do long multiplication for an hour because I miss maths.” At least this freedom has allowed them to dip a toe into dating – “I’m 19, so figuring that out’s gonna be a part of my life” – although they’re sensibly keeping the details private for now. “Relationships are so complex anyway, and if you’re in the public eye, everyone having an opinion about them adds an extra layer of difficulty.”

Still, hopefully Ramsey’s fans will be satisfied by the queer romance in store for The Last of Us’s second season, which is set to start shooting this autumn. Are they excited for Ellie to have an onscreen girlfriend? “Yeah, 100 per cent, I can’t wait for that storyline,” they say, with a confidence that suggests that the character’s fearlessness is rubbing off on them. And it’ll only strengthen their bond with the fans they describe as their “gay army”. “The fact that the LGBTQ+ community – my community – is supporting me and uplifting me and making me feel cool is such a privilege,” they say. “I feel very protected, and I couldn’t be more grateful.”

Hair: Ali Pirzadeh. Make-up: Bea Sweet. Nails: Simone Cummings

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