Demi Burnett Says She Consumed 'Copious Amounts of Alcohol' to 'Mask' Autism on The Bachelor Before Diagnosis (Exclusive)

Bachelor Nation met Demi Burnett on Colton Underwood’s season of The Bachelor and got to know her more on Bachelor in Paradise seasons 6 and 7. Burnett, 30, didn’t find her forever on TV, but she learned something important about herself after joining the Bachelor world: She has autism.

“While you're waiting for your diagnosis, it's a lot of anxiety,” Burnett, who shared her diagnosis publicly in February 2022, tells PEOPLE. “You just want that validation and that relief, that way you can start getting the tools you need to live a happier and more independent life.”

The reality star says she felt “so relieved” after finding out she has autism.

“It helps me understand myself,” Burnett continues. “Say I'm not meshing with people as well as everyone else is. Instead of being like, ‘Oh, my gosh, what's wrong with me? Why can't I make friends with people?’ I'm just like, ‘Okay, I know that maybe people just aren't getting me yet and it might take them a little bit to get used to me. Maybe I'm not showing them my best self. I know it just might take a little time, and I'm not going to take it personally.’ "

But the online community hasn’t been as accepting.

“Lots of support on Instagram, but then on TikTok, I get all the comments of people being like, ‘You weren't like this on The Bachelor. You really switched it up,’ ” Burnett says. “And I think that they are right in saying that. I was consuming copious amounts of alcohol during The Bachelor, so it should be a great example of seeing how someone can use alcohol to mask.”

Burnett, now nearly four years sober, believes viewers “can tell I'm playing into a bit of whatever I think everyone wants from me.”

“It's so clearly someone putting on a show than now when I'm being vulnerable and open and raw and real and uncomfortable with all of it,” the Got to Get Out star says. “Now it's seen as putting on an act. It's ironic. You can't help but laugh.”

Still, Burnett loves doing reality TV, and she believes the medium “is great for neurodivergent people.”

“Everyone thinks no autistic person can ever do a reality show, and I'm like, ‘You have no idea how much an autistic person could thrive actually in that environment because they get support for the first time in their lives,’ ” she says. “Getting all that support on The Bachelor, it was the greatest. I have never been more supported in my life than I am on reality TV. You have people waiting on you hand and foot to get anything you ever need. Reality TV producers are literally the most support you could ever get. I was sobbing when I had to leave, and it wasn't for Colton.”

Outside of television, Burnett says she has “found people who believe me and believe that I mean the best intention with what I'm saying,” specifically in the Fortnite community.  

“I have a group of girls I play Fortnite with, and they let me be myself 100,000,000 percent,” the TV personality explains. “We call myself America's Little Brat because if people have more kills than me, then I'm going to throw a mini fit. And instead of them being like, ‘Hey, get over it,’ they're like, ‘Hey, Demi, come kill this guy. I've got him for you over here.’ And that is so silly, but it means the world to me. That kind of stuff has made life more enjoyable for me.”

In the wake of U.S. Secretary of Health and Human Services Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s claim that people with autism won’t hold jobs, go on dates or pay taxes, Burnett wants to make it clear that “there're many autistic people I know, including myself, that have a job, pay taxes, do all things that he said that we'll never do. It's just very dangerous what he's saying. He's referring to lots of stereotypes and stigmas and debunked research.”

Burnett would like to see Kennedy, 71, put government funds toward supporting people and families with autism. “There's really no help out here,” she claims. “The problem isn't the rise in diagnosis. The problem is and has always been the lack of resources. We should be finding out how to help autistic people have happier, more independent lives instead of trying to fearmonger people with false information.”

The Texas native may not be dating anyone right now, but she credits that to “everyone” wanting to “date around” instead of finding a serious relationship. “I want a girlfriend,” she says. “I am feeling much more attracted to women these days, but I'm bisexual, I could go either way. But I just think that I would be treated better by a woman.”

Burnett will try her hand at dating on Netflix’s Pop the Balloon dating show, and she hopes reality shows “keep booking me."

“I love going on reality TV because I feel the most at home," she says. "I feel supported and safe in the weirdest way.”

Along with establishing a reality TV career that’s grown since receiving her diagnosis, Burnett tells PEOPLE she feels pleased with “how I established myself as an independent woman.”

“I found a way to escape the South, and I am just really proud of that,” she concludes. And I'm proud that — maybe [this is] something silly — I've been on Ellen twice. That's pretty great.”